A year ago today, we left the house around midnight. It had been a long week of driving up there, expecting to drop him off and head back home alone, yet always coming back home together. It was great to have extra time together but it was so emotionally exhausting. I would get ready to say goodbye (or as ready as I could be), then something would end up happening, and the time or day would get changed.
The hardest part of the week, besides the day he actually left, was when we all went to the baseball fields to line them up. They were all in their cammies, and it was one of the largest formations I had ever seen. I started crying when the buses all came and lined up next to the armory. It became real. He was leaving, and wasn't coming back for a long time.
They had another formation, and then it broke. Dan walked toward me, and said it had been pushed back again. I thought he was joking -- the buses were right there, it was time for them to go. We had been waiting for hours; it was coming to the in-between time when you don't know if you should say late afternoon or early evening. He was not joking, though. They were not getting on the buses, at least at that time. We drove away, leaving the buses behind.
The time he actually was leaving though, I wasn't sure he truly would. I wore my pajamas, Evelyn was asleep in her pajamas in her car seat. We kept the car on while he went in. I slept on and off, trying to get comfortable in Midge's front seat. I woke up when I heard the buses hydraulics hissing as they parked. I got out of the car, as many other families did. I stayed close, because Evelyn was still sleeping.
He came back to the car and hugged me. I can't remember what happened but I called him when he was in line to get back on the bus, asking him if he needed something he had left in the car. He came back for it, so we hugged again. Once they were all loaded on the bus, I left. I couldn't sit there and watch them leave. By the time I left, it was nearing 2AM. It might've been between 2 and 3, my memory is fuzzy. It is weird how such an important time in your life can become hazy in your mind.
On the way home, Evelyn woke up. I pulled over to nurse her. Dan called later in the morning, they were still waiting to leave. I woke up and it felt like a whole new day, not as if I had just dropped him off several hours earlier.
It felt fitting when I finally realized that the day they set off was Veteran's Day. It made me proud, and it made me sad. Writing this up makes me cry because I can remember it so vividly. It was so scary. You feel so helpless, and you are. You can't do anything about it. They have to leave, and you have to watch them leave.
Which brings me to what I am thankful for.
11. I am thankful that Dan came back to us from his 7 month deployment. I am thankful for each time we were able to talk, even though we weren't able to talk at all for about two months of the seven. I am thankful that he was able to see Evelyn on Skype. I am thankful he ended up shaving the mustache he was growing (haha).
I am thankful for Dan, and I am thankful that he was able to come home. I am thankful for all of our veterans, but especially thankful and proud of the veterans in our families.
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