Last week I was Skyping with my Mom, Grandma, and Uncles in the morning. Our trial version of video conferencing has run out so it was just like a three-way call you previously had to pay your provider extra for (and was all the rage, back in the day). Since Ev and I couldn't be seen I decided to change her dipe because I heard her make a mess in there.
Judge me if you want but I put the dirt dipe on the floor (on the wood, not the tatami mats) with the clean side down until we went downstairs, which is where we keep the diaper pail.
Well, Ev and I headed downstairs after Skyping to let Toby in. He'd been out for most of the morning so I figured he could come in and hang with us. He made a beeline for the stairs while I fiddled around with something downstairs. I thought briefly about the dirty, open-faced diaper but dismissed the concern. Our dog wouldn't do something as gross as eating our baby's poop.
Ugh I feel gross just admitting that our upstanding dog-citizen let his canine instincts get the best of him. When I told Dan what happened he was not the least bit surprised and said, "He would, that big, fat sicko." Or something to that effect, it isn't an exact quote.
Ev and I tromp up the stairs and what do I see a few feet from the stairwell? A pink bumGenius diaper that I most certainly did not leave there. Ick.
I did not examine the diaper thoroughly and without going into too much detail about what fills her diapers, they aren't little baby turds. So I couldn't do the mental math, "There were four turds, now there are only two..." It just isn't that consistency. Sorry, I know - probably did not care to know but I have to share for Toby's sake.
See I like to think that maybe, just maybe, he thought it smelled interesting. Since it had an appealing odor he decided to bring it to the stairwell as a token of his love. And since he was being so kind, he did not consume anything in the diaper.
At least that's what I keep trying to tell myself. I'm not fully convinced yet but if everyone would go along with it, that'd be helpful. Don't bring it up when you come to visit...he is ashamed of whatever his true intentions and actions were with the diaper.
Ohhhhhh goodness. Yucky, yucky...I would have been much more able to deal with a couple little "chunks" being missing...but the whole slimy baby poo + dog just really gets me. EEkkkK! Ohhhhh Toby.
ReplyDeleteI'm in way trouble now because bookkeeping just is NOT funny and me sitting here in front of my computer, at my client's restaurant, laughing hysterically is drawing a large amount of suspicion. I do have to thank you for two things: 1) The great story 2) Not posting photo evidence!
ReplyDeleteI'm now sufficiently supplied with endorphins to get through the rest of the day. ahhhh
Katy - Ugh yes, it is the slimy baby poop! I'm glad you know what I am talking about, lol. Has Remy done anything super gross yet?
ReplyDeleteGM - Haha, oops! Sorry to interrupt your work but I'm glad it helped you gear up to make it through the rest of the day.
We're working on making Toby sleep on his dog bed instead of our bed (Dan says he's a bed hog) and I had to get up late last night to come downstairs to shut the diaper pail in the office. I was afraid that if he felt scorned he'd ravage through the pail and we'd come downstairs to dirty diapers throughout the floor level. That would've been horrible! Ha.